One of the questions I fear: “What are you afraid of?”
Answer? A whole lot of things. In no order:
- Being totally alone, with no one to be there for me.
- Losing control of myself, whether going insane or developing Alzheimer’s or something similar
- Never reaching my goals
- Hurting Hims by my words or actions
- Terrible debt
- Being turned away for medical treatment
Wow, what a downer for this morning, huh? Especially since it’s a rainy day today where I live!
A little about me here… I have big bouts of anxiety. Nasty, shakin’ in your shoes anxiety, which plays with the mind and makes you fear things are almost imminent when those things aren’t anywhere around. So while this list of fears may seem just a normal, run of the mill list for a lot of people, if you’ve got this type of anxiety it can make the list seem a lot worse. Hell, I don’t like even looking at the list right now, and would prefer to just erase it so I’m not thinking about those things – as though just reading them there on the screen might call them into being. Logically, I know that’s not how anything works. But anxious-me doesn’t care about logic. Anxious-me is to anxious to hear logic.
During a particularly bad bout of it last winter, Hims suggested I keep telling myself positive things. Like instead of being afraid of something awful happening, I look at the opposite – the good that could happen, and tell myself THAT is what is going to happen. It took a lot of concentration at first, but it began working.
Now that I’ve told you guys stuff I didn’t really think I would… I’m going to go get some more coffee. I’ve got another post to write!